Even if you are quite familiar with how to use sex toys while masturbating alone, using them with a partner can feel like an entirely other experience. You might have some questions regarding how to begin started, despite the fact that it is not an exact science. You will be relieved to know that, in many respects, there is not a significant difference between using a toy with a partner and using one on yourself when it comes to the actual experience. In point of fact, it’s highly likely that you’ll be able to use the majority of the items you use for masturbation during partnered play as well.
However, having a partner present opens up a whole new world of opportunities, both in terms of partner-centric toys and strategies that call for an additional set of hands. In either case, sex toys can be a significant addition to any sex life, provided that all persons involved are interested in trying new things. Find below everything you need to know about how to use sex toys with a partner, from selecting the appropriate equipment to coming up with innovative new ways to play together.
It’s cool if you’re still not convinced; that’s perfectly normal. There is no question that sex toys are not appropriate for all individuals or all couples. However, in the event that you are undecided about whether or not to use sex toys, the following are a few advantages of doing so that are worth discussing. To begin with, and most importantly, they are enjoyable. The adult equivalent of playing in the sandbox is called sex.
In addition to that, however, a good number of people, particularly those who have vaginas, need a particular kind of stimulation in order to achieve an orgasm. According to Need, the majority of individuals who have vaginas have a prerequisite of at least some clitoral stimulation in order to get off. To play with your clitoris, you most certainly do not need a vibrator, although it can be helpful. This is especially true if you require more vigorous stimulation than either you or your partner are able to provide on your own. There are a lot of people who can only get off with the assistance of a vibrator, and there is absolutely no reason to feel bad about that.
Even if you rule out having an orgasm, which is a perfectly acceptable way to engage in sexual activity, toys still provide feelings that are impossible to have without using them. The issue that arises then is, why not play with toys?
How about sex toys?
Any sex item you could possibly want! But before we move on, let’s speak about some of the most common toys and accessories that are available and that you and your partner might like to use together. This will ensure that we are on the same page.
Toys designed specifically for couples There are several toys available on the market that are designed specifically for partnered play. These toys can be introduced into the vagina during penetration to offer stimulation for the clitoris, the G-spot, and the partner’s penis all at the same time.
As you are surely aware, there is a huge variety of vibrators available, ranging from external wands and bullets to rabbits and insertable vibrators. Which one is appropriate for you depends on how you intend to put it to use, but when it comes to partnered sexual activity, there are a few things to keep in mind. For instance, if you want to utilise an external vibe during penetration or if you want your partner to be able to hold it comfortably from particular angles, the size and shape of the external vibe can be significant considerations to take into account.
are just a few examples of the various implements that can be used to penetrate one another, either vaginally or orally. btw, there is some room for crossover between this category and the vibrator category. There are several vibrators that are also plugs or dildos, and vice versa.
Some BDSM fans like to name these accessories rather than toys, but regardless of what you choose to call them, you should definitely keep an eye out for them. Consider these to be anything, from bondage tape to blindfolds, that enables you to engage and experiment with your five senses. Check out this roundup for additional details on the sensation play goods that are available.
Are you prepared for some advice?
Make sure everyone is on board
The first thing that needs to be done before playing with toys is to make sure that everyone involved wants to play with toys. It’s possible that there will be some dialogue involved. But you shouldn’t be concerned if you or your partner has some early reluctance. There is still a significant amount of social awkwardness surrounding the use of sex toys by a couple. You may have internalised the narrative that a nice partner is supposed to be “enough” for you and your wants, and that there is no need for you to purchase further toys. On the other hand, it’s not as if we ever see typical sexual encounters portrayed on film or television that involve sex toys (or even a lot of mainstream porn). Given all of this message, it’s not surprising that some people have reservations about incorporating toys into a collaborative effort.
Even if you are both in favour of using toys, it is still a good idea to make sure that you are both in agreement regarding the safe sexual practises that you will employ in the event that it becomes necessary to share toys. For example, you should always put a new condom on a dildo after you have used it but before using it on your partner. Check out this essay on the topic if you feel like you might use some further direction while discussing the aforementioned topics with your partner. It will guide you through the entire uncomfortable talk step by step.
Shop for a toy together to build up anticipation.
If you and your partner are just starting out with the practise of using sex toys together, it’s a good idea to indulge your natural curiosity and become comfortable with the various alternatives that are available to you. More than that, it is a fantastic chance to converse with your spouse about your interests, which may serve as foreplay, and it is a chance you won’t get very often.
According to Torrisi, there is often a breakdown in communication between couples regarding the things that each of them enjoys. “To be able to say, ‘Hey, let’s use this toy,’ means to be able to express things like, ‘Hey, I enjoy this sort of thing,’ or ‘Hey, I’m intrigued about this,'”
You have the option of doing this either in person or online, provided that it is safe to do so in your location and that COVID-19 permits it. You get the opportunity to see and play with toys in real life when you shop in a specialty store, which might provide you with a clearer picture of the kinds of things that appeal to you. In addition to this, there are salespeople there who are able to provide you with answers to any questions that you may have, and if you find something that you like, you are allowed to take it home with you and utilise it right away. (Just keep in mind that other people are about; it’s a lot of fun to look at sex toys with a partner while you’re out in public, but you don’t want to be so forward that you involve other people without getting their permission.)
Shopping online, on the other hand, is a private activity, which means that you have more room to discuss what draws you to particular toys and how you would use them; in addition, you may go into a lot more depth than you would if you were shopping in a public place. After placing an order for it, you will, indeed, have to wait for it to be delivered; yet, there is something to be said for the thrill of anticipation.
Use toys all over your body.
People don’t often think creatively when it comes to sex toys that are utilised on the genital region of the body, such as a vibrator or a dildo, so innovation in this area is rare. Torrisi, on the other hand, encourages people to explore their full bodies with a toy, whether that means experimenting with how vibration feels on your nipples or how the smooth silicone of a dildo feels flowing down your back. dildos are one of Torrisi’s favourite toys.
She gives the piece of advice, “Don’t use a new toy on your genitals the first time.” “Experiment with it on your skin all over the rest of your body and see what it’s like,” they said. “Just see what it’s like.”
Obviously, this piece of advice does not always hold true. When utilising anything for a purpose other than what it was designed for, you should make sure it is safe. This is something that largely pertains to anal play; anything that you put up your butt should have a flared base so that it doesn’t get trapped up there. Because in fact, things like that do occur. Beyond that, using your common sense is going to get you very far.
Stimulate yourself during penetration.
Because they do not receive the same level of clitoral stimulation, persons who have vaginas may have difficulty orgasming during penetration. This is one of the reasons I described before. There is no problem with you or your spouse taking control of the situation there as the other person penetrates you. Get your hands on a discreet clit vibrator like the We-Vibe Touch so that you may experiment with different sensations and discover out what works best for you. Altering your posture can also be beneficial; for example, you might find it simpler to hold a vibrator in the correct position when riding on top of your partner rather than while you are on your hands and knees.
Experiment with edging
Edging is the act of getting yourself or a partner close to orgasm but stopping before it really happens. Toys come in especially handy when it comes to edging because of their versatility. You know, bringing each other to the point where they could orgasm and then pulling back. Not only is it seductive and flirtatious in equal measure, but it also helps you and your partner tune into exactly what it is that each of you needs in order to have an orgasmic experience.
Certain toys, more notably vibrators and vibrating plugs, come with a remote control, which can be useful in a variety of contexts and situations. To start, it can spare you and your companion the inconvenience of fumbling about with buttons that are awkwardly positioned while you’re in the middle of engaging in sexual activity. By letting you to set the level of intensity as well as the pattern of the vibrations, it can also provide you and your partner even more control over the pleasure that is felt by the other. That would be warm.
Can better, some remote-controlled toys even function long-distance with the help of applications, allowing you to tease your lover from a different room or even from an altogether different house. This is possible because some of these toys are compatible with Bluetooth technology. We-Vibe, a well-known manufacturer of couple toys, offers a wide variety of products in this area, one of which is their wearable clit panty vibe.
Play with all of your senses
We touched on sensory play earlier, but it’s important enough to need further explanation. According to Torrisi, there are many different ways to get creative with your senses when engaging in sexual activity with the assistance of toys, and some of these techniques don’t even involve specialised toys. Experimenting with different temperatures is one possibility, for instance. Metal toys, like the cult-favorite Pure Wand\s retain temperature when you run them under hot or cold water. There are also warming devices like could find feel amazing on all your erogenous zones.
Don’t forget sensory deprivation, either. For instance, when you don’t have your sight, the sensation of touching a toy can be far more acute. If you are curious, give this set of simple blindfolds made of satin a shot.
Toys enable you to play in a variety of different ways, some of which you wouldn’t be able to do without them. In light of this, sexy role reversals between you and your lover can be facilitated with the help of toys. This can be based on stereotypical gender roles (or just, you know, your genitals), such as using a strap-on to penetrate a partner who normally penetrates you, asking them to perform oral sex on a strap-on when you blow them, or playing with traditionally gendered clothes and accessories. Other examples include using a strap-on to penetrate a partner who normally penetrates you.
But if you want it to imply anything else, you can give it any meaning you want. It could mean using constraints on a partner who is often more dominating, or it could mean using gentle and soft toys on someone who regularly enjoys rough play. It was Resistor who pointed out that it is your playground earlier. Every time you turn up, you and your companions will have the opportunity to discuss and determine together what parts you will be performing.
To play with multiple toys at once does not necessarily entail playing with each toy against the other. Exploring each other’s bodies, letting the other person know what you’re into, and then getting off together may all be accomplished through the act of mutual masturbation. Also, if your partner has a penis but is not accustomed to masturbating with toys, now would be an excellent time to expose them to some possibilities such as the Fleshlight Flight Pilot Male Masturbator.