How To Give A Good Blow Job
He mighty blow job—intimidating, but one of the best sex acts to have. Though controlling your partner’s penis or strap-on can feel empowering, your blow job technique may need some work. How do you blow someone up? This wasn’t in sex education.
Personal preferences matter. For many, a blowout is a turn-on. Blow jobs feel like sex, but they’re not.
A blow job is obviously not for everyone, but when you’re truly clicking with a partner, it can be a terrific way to amp up the affection between the two of you. This is a reminder that your sexual tastes are only decided by you, and no one should ever make you feel terrible about them!
“Even while it might not seem as close [as sex] because there isn’t as much face-to-face contact, the willingness to do this adds a degree of trust and intimacy that is undervalued,”
Exhibit some enthusiasm.
The desire to genuinely give excellent head is by far and away the most important component of the good head rule set.
“The most common criticism I hear from customers regarding blow jobs has nothing to do with the technique, and everything to do with their partner’s enthusiasm about it,” explains Marin. “It’s all about their partner’s enthusiasm.” The phrase “recipients will have a great time if they know their companion is enjoying it” (Awww!)
“There’s a tremendous difference between saying, ‘They do this for me because I like it,’ and truly being turned on by giving oral sex,” adds Anderson. “There’s a big difference.” “If someone is sincere and genuinely motivated to please them, that takes care of ninety percent of the problem.”
Make sure to make eye contact. Do not maintain eye contact the entire time without blinking (this is creepy), but make sure to take frequent gaps in which you shift your focus from their penis to their eyes in order to soak in all of their facial cues. (You should also make the most of this opportunity to flutter your eyelashes and “smize,” you sexpot.)
Tell them how excited you are to see them. You know how when a partner goes down on you, it might make you feel a little self-conscious? Yes, and so can every other person! Therefore, you should compliment how difficult they are to chew and how happy it is making you feel. Or you might just say it directly: “I adore the way your penis tingles when I put it in my mouth.” Straightforward, but highly effective
Inquire about their needs and wishes. It demonstrates that you care about your partner and want to provide them with the greatest experience possible by demonstrating that you have asked for their feedback. You may ask, “How does this feel?” right before you put your mouth back on the shaft, or you could ask, “Is this moist enough for you?” in the middle of the process. One question not to ask: “Hello, are you close yet?” If your spouse isn’t comfortable holding up their half of a Q&A during a blowie, make it as easy as possible for them by having them grasp your hand and squeeze it every time they feel wonderful. It will be much simpler for you to determine which motions they truly enjoy, and it will provide you with a great confidence boost during the entire process.
Get your hands involved in the process.
Even though blowing someone out could be considered oral sex, that does not mean that your mouth has to do all of the effort. “I like to think of the mouth as providing tightness and your hands as offering wetness,” adds Marin. “I prefer to think of the mouth as delivering wetness.”
If a few minutes into the work you notice that your jaw is starting to feel weary or hurt, it is likely that you are sucking too hard with your mouth. Therefore, you should move some of the effort to your hands and trust on them to provide pressure.
Once you’ve warmed up a little bit, here’s the fundamental stroke you should be using:
First, encircle the handle with your dominant hand, and then bring your mouth into the mix.
Make a connection between your hand and your lips by pressing your index finger and thumb (which should be forming the letter O) against your lips and ensuring that they remain in that position.
Go up and down the penis while moving your hand and lips together.
If their penis is larger than usual, you can keep your mouth in the same position and glide your wet hand independently up and down the pole.
After that, you’ll have more leeway to experiment with other hand techniques. Experiment with the Wrist Twist: While maintaining oral sex with your lips on the genital region (this is still considered oral sex), move your hand up and down while rotating your firm wrist in clockwise circles.
As soon as you feel like you have your bearings, you should start using your other hand. Anderson encourages his audience to “focus beyond simply the penis.” “Make it a full-sensory experience, beyond simply the pelvic region,” the author suggests. “Some individuals like nipple stimulation, caressing their leg.” When in doubt? Put the balls in a cup, and then gently squeeze them.
You shouldn’t be hesitant to add some spittle (lots of it).
My boyfriend instructed me to spit on him while I was giving one of the very first blow jobs I had ever given (to a guy I had been dating for five months, so we were really comfortable with one other). I was first taken aback by it, but then I realised that he simply like it to be a little bit more soggy.
Although everyone has their own, ahem, preferences when it comes to wetness, I’ve found that the majority of people are in agreement that a successful blow job involves a significant amount of saliva. You don’t want to go overboard to the point that your hand is slipping all over the place, but once the penis starts to feel a bit dry, consider doing some *sexy* spitting (read: keep it subtle).
As a corollary to this, it is not a bad idea to keep a glass of water nearby to prevent dry mouth; you never know when you might need it.
Attempt to keep your tongue flexible and loose most of the time.
When you give someone a blow job, your tongue supplies the warmth, texture, and wetness that can’t be found anywhere else.
Both Anderson and Marin recommend that, in order to get the most out of this sensation, you should keep your tongue loose in your mouth while you’re moving up and down (which is the majority of your job), and then use the tip of your tongue to trace the head and frenulum, which is the underside of the area where the penis head (if it has been circumcised) meets the shaft.
Because of the dense concentration of nerve endings in those two locations, particularly in the frenulum, you should anticipate that your spouse will go absolutely bonkers.
You can also use the side of your tongue that is flat to lick from the bottom of the shaft all the way up to the very tip and back down again, or you can give it a few flicks with your tongue.
Pretend you’re going to use the word “purple” in the next step.
I began my career as a writer for women’s magazines, and at some point during that time, I picked up a piece of advice from a sexpert (I wish I could remember who!) that has since become my reliable signature move. (It’s nearly going to kill me to tell you this, but in the sake of better blow jobs for everyone…)
Make an effort to keep your lips in a fish-face position as you suck; to do this, believe that you are about to utter the word “purple.” The very sound of the term causes your mouth to automatically pull into the ideal head-turning pout: They have a tiny curl to them and a pillowy appearance, both of which contribute to an enhanced sensation of wetness and an optimal level of suction.
Thank you very much.
Give the viewer a new perspective.
Both Marin and Anderson concur that the visual component of a blow job is a significant role; after all, presentation is the key to success! Anderson recommends moving to the side of the bed if you are positioned between another person’s legs when they are laying on the bed. Consider the possibility of altering the ‘conventional’ point of view. It also enables your significant other to take in the full view of your fantastic physique; thus, flash them a wink and strike a posture.
You might also try positioning yourself in various places around the room, such as having your spouse lean against the wall as you kneel in front of them. You may even position yourselves in front of a mirror so that they can observe the situation from all sides. According to Anderson, a successful outcome will result from “whatever a partner can do to make it more visual.”
If the deep throat appeals to you, give it a shot.
It is safe to say that deep throating, also known as taking the member so far into your mouth that it enters your throat, is a skill reserved for more experienced performers. Why? The gagging reaction, in a word.
If you are able to train your gag reflex—which I did by practising on, no joke, frozen ice pops—you will be able to surprise (and by surprise, I mean SHOCK) your partner with moments of deep throating. This is because some people’s gag response is easier to activate than that of other people.
Not only does deep throating feel incredible to them (your throat is obviously more constrictive than their mouth), but it also turns them on to know that their full length can be contained within your mouth in some way. (Referring back to the visual thing that was said in the prior point.)
A word of caution: Ease into this, and only do so when you have good nasal breathing capacity. There is no penis that is worth choking for. Period.
Apply some oil to it.
Lube matters. And it completely changes the dynamic of every sort of sexual activity. It should go without saying that moisture is an essential element of blow jobs; nevertheless, producing sufficient saliva can be difficult, “especially if you’re dehydrated or live in a drier area,” explains Skyler. Both of you will find that having a dry mouth is unpleasant. Add some lubrication to the mix to boost the amount of wetness and pleasure.
It doesn’t matter if you enjoy the flavour of coconut oil or if you prefer an oral lubrication; the fact is that you have a wide variety of lube alternatives to pick from, any one of which can step up your blow job game. Skyler adds, “I always say have lubrication, why not, let it help you, and it can taste delicious.” “I always say have lube, why not, let it help you,”
Determine the best possible outcome of the situation.
To be a good provider, it is essential to have a clear idea of what it is that you want or require during the act of giving. “If ejaculating in your mouth and swallowing isn’t a huge problem, then it’s fine,” adds Skyler. “I’m not going to judge you.” “But if that’s the case, what are the alternative solutions that need to be communicated in advance?
It is entirely up to the individual to decide how they want to handle the ejaculation aspect of the blow job. Skyler recommends that if you don’t like having ejaculate in your mouth, you should ask your spouse to let you know when the point of coming is, then take your hand away from your mouth and continue with your hand. “Or if they don’t mind the cum but they don’t want to swallow it, they can spit,” she explains. “Or if they don’t mind the cum but they want to.”
Take care of those incisors.
Teeth and blow jobs are not really compatible with one another. But given that teeth make up a sizable portion of mouths, it is essential to be aware of how to handle them appropriately during the blow job. Skyler recommends a loose covering of the teeth with the tongue in order to facilitate movement both up and down the shaft. One last piece of advice is to avoid canine contact by using your lips and wrapping them over your teeth in a very slight way.
Picture yourself eating the cone of an ice cream treat.
Skyler suggests visualising yourself licking an ice cream cone as a method for improving your speed and accuracy. She believes that top to bottom licks are beneficial. Move your mouth and tongue slowly along the shaft. Taking your time is important. The anticipation will drive them absolutely bonkers, and you can finally put it entirely in your mouth.
Experiment with different temperatures.
Bring the heat, and accompany it with ice. The application of ice cubes during a blow job is, without a doubt, incredibly stimulating. This unorthodox method sounds like an urban legend about blow jobs, but the tingling sensation that you get from having a mouth full of crushed up ice is real, and the contrast between the warmth of your mouth and the frigid ice may be really refreshing.
Experiment with the ice, but only with the permission of your companion. You could find it helpful to chew on an ice cube just before you go down on them. Crush some ice in your mouth, and then proceed with your business. The combination of being chilly and having ice that is melting provides for a fun experience, although it may make you feel like a chipmunk. Have faith, and give it a shot.
Consider condoms.
Condoms aren’t commonly used for blow jobs, but they can protect against sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). And engaging in sexual activity in a responsible manner is of the utmost importance. It’s a good thing there are flavoured condoms and lubrication to make the whole affair more enjoyable for both parties involved.
Feel it out.
Spend some time discovering new things with your mouth. “Skyler advises the listener to “Feel with your mouth the texture, the form, and how it fills their mouth.” “Every penis is different,” he says. Enter into it with a sense of wonder.”
You are not required to rush into a blow job and proceed directly for the deep throat (unless that is your thing, in which case, more power to ya). Skyler recommends that you refrain from clamping down and instead ask yourself, “How can I build a tighter envelope around this penis with my mouth?” in instead of clamping down.
Keep in mind: There is no need to feel obligated to give an orgasm. It is possible that you will have less pleasure if you are overly focused on achieving that goal. Instead, “focusing on the journey of pleasure, both in receiving and giving, is a critical aspect of satisfying your spouse,” says Skyler. “This applies to both receiving pleasure and giving pleasure.”