How to Begin Using BDSM Without Endangering Your Health
The BDSM, how to perform it, and how to talk to your partner are all explained by specialists here.
There is a good chance that you are familiar with BDSM, that you have seen it, or that you have even sung about it at some point in your life; ask Alexa to play “S&M” by Rihanna. In all seriousness, if the thought of chains and whips excites you as much as it does me, then you’ve probably thought about trying BDSM, which is not uncommon at all. One study conducted in 2014 and published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine discovered that out of 1,516 adults who were surveyed, 65% of women and 53% of men fantasised about being sexually dominated, while 47% of women and 60% of men fantasised about sexually dominating someone else.
If you fall into one of these percentages, you should first realise that it is perfectly normal, and second, before attempting BDSM, it is extremely important to have a thorough understanding of what you will be getting into. If you fall into one of these percentages, you should know that it is completely normal. You and your partner will want to ensure that you are well informed and safe when engaging in this type of sexual play, as the kinks that are involved can involve pain and intense sensations. In order to assist you in accomplishing this goal, we consulted with two sexual medicine specialists to get a rundown of everything basic users of BDSM need to know.
Just what is the BDSM?
The acronym BDSM is used to describe a variety of sexual practises, such as bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism, and masochism. Rebecca Alvarez Story, a sexologist, believes that BDSM is all about giving people the opportunity to investigate the power dynamics that exist within their relationships with consent. She explains that “BDSM is a broad term for a variety of sexual activities, such as role-play and restraint, where there is a consensual power exchange.” “BDSM is a broad term for a variety of sexual activities, such as role-play and restraint,” she says.
When carrying out BDSM, a person can take on a variety of roles depending on the task at hand. According to sexologist Marla Renee Stewart, who is also a sex expert for the brand Lovers, which focuses on sexual wellness, these roles are typically divided into three primary classifications that are known as dominants, submissives, and switches. She says that “Dominant-types,” which are also referred to as “D-types,” are typically the ones who are the ones inflicting the pain, punishment, and reward, regardless of whether it’s physical, mental, or emotional. They would rather play roles in which they are at the top of the food chain, acting out scenarios in which they are referred to as daddy, sir, dominant, dommes, or master.
According to Stewart, “submissive-types have roles such as bottoms, little/little girl/boy/child, pets, slaves, submissives, and other tops of service roles which are on the receiving end,” whereas switches are comfortable in either role. “Submissive-types have roles such as bottoms, little/little girl/boy/child, pets, slaves, submissives, and other tops of service roles,”
What makes BDSM something that someone would be interested in?
People’s fondness for BDSM can be explained by a wide variety of factors. According to Alvarez-Story, “some people want to dive deeper and participate in more bondage and domination acts as a means of exploring their perception of control.” “Some people want to dive deeper and participate in more bondage and domination acts.” “While others may use it as a way to introduce more novelty into their sex life or build connection and trust within their relationship,” while “others may use it as a way to build connection and trust within their relationship.”
According to Stewart, there is also the psychological component of BDSM to consider. She says that people enjoy BDSM and kink because giving or receiving pain and punishment taps the same hormone receptors that interpret pleasure. This is why people enjoy kink. When you participate in BDSM, your body releases a flood of dopamine, serotonin, and other feel-good hormones, which in turn gives you a natural high and makes you feel good overall.
According to research that looked into BDSM, both dominants and submissives reported increases in the closeness of their relationships as well as decreases in the amount of psychological stress they were experiencing before and after engaging in sexual play. When engaging in BDSM, both participants are shown to enter a pleasant altered state of consciousness, according to the findings of various studies. Bottoms entered an altered state known as transient hypofrontality, which was associated with reductions in pain, feelings of floating, feelings of peacefulness, feelings of living in the moment, and time distortions. Bottoms also felt as though they were living in the moment more. On the other hand, Tops entered a state of flow, which is characterised by undivided attention, the absence of self-consciousness, and the highest possible level of performance in a given task. In the end, however, the reasons behind a person’s interest in BDSM and kink are as individual as the person themselves.
How exactly can one practise BDSM in a risk-free manner?
When it comes to BDSM, consent and honest communication are the two most important things to keep in mind at all times. According to Alvarez-Story, “it is important to understand what it is that you like and don’t like so that BDSM can be a sexual experience that satisfies you.” Conducting research can assist you in determining the kinds of activities in which you might take part. There is a wealth of educational material, both online and in the form of workshops, available to you that can assist you in becoming familiar with the boundaries of BDSM. For instance, the online marketplace Bloomi, which teaches about and sells products related to sexual wellness, has a “Yes, No, Maybe List” that outlines 69 different sex and intimacy acts that you and your partner should consider and talk about (s).
According to Stewart, another option available to you is to participate in a munch, which is a relaxed lunch gathering where you can learn more about BDSM and network with other kinksters. According to Stewart, “You can attend kink workshops and conferences to help you get more education and exploration.” These opportunities are available to attendees.
After you’ve done your research, it’s a good idea to sit down with your partner and establish some ground rules. This will ensure that boundaries are clearly defined and respected. According to Alvarez-Story, “You can create a contract that lists the activities you’d like to explore, acts that are off-limits, and things that are a potential possibility.” “For example, you can create a contract that lists the activities you’d like to explore.”
BDSM also places a significant emphasis on the establishment of a safeword. A safeword is a predetermined word or phrase that anyone, but particularly a submissive, is able to say in order to bring an immediate end to the activity or session. You can also try new things by incorporating toys into your sexual encounters. For example, LoversStores.com sells a toy called The Round Double-Paddle. According to Stewart, this toy has the ideal level of suppleness, which enables users to practise their techniques on their own bodies before hitting another person.
And finally, according to Alvarez-Story, the activities you engage in after sexual activity, also referred to as after play, are equally important in BDSM. It is especially important to take the time to care for and connect with one another on an emotional and physical level after participating in BDSM activities, she explains.
How can you broach the subject of BDSM with your significant other?
You’re interested in BDSM but aren’t sure how to broach the subject with your significant other, are we right? The most effective method is to first engage in conversation before engaging in sexual activity. This should be done in an open, honest, and casual manner. You can also introduce it to your partner by watching The Secretary or 50 Shades of Grey with them as a conversation starter to see how they feel about it and have the opportunity to talk about what you like about the films, says Stewart. This will allow you to find out how they feel about it and find out what you like about the films. “Introducing it this way takes the responsibility off of you just in case they feel some type of way about it,” she says. “Introducing it in this way takes the responsibility off of you.”
Other questions that are good ways to start a conversation, according to Alvarez-Story, include the following:
“Hey, what do you think about trying something new together, like _ or ?”
“I adore it when we engage in sexual activity together and you reveal your more dominant side. What do you say we try something new the next time, like cuffs or a blindfold?”
“After reading about _, I believe that it might be an interesting experience for the two of us to try doing this on our next date night. What are your thoughts?”
Consent, the establishment of clear guidelines, and diligent research are three of the most important factors to consider in the long run, as we discussed earlier. Because BDSM is individual to each person, you and your partner should only engage in activities that make you both happy. Alvarez-Story encourages participants to “remember that BDSM is a judgment-free practise that provides a safe way to communicate about and act out your fantasies and desires” (Remember that BDSM is a practise that does not pass judgement). “You don’t need to engage in extreme sexual activities in order to achieve the desired results; even small acts can bring more play into your relationships and heighten sensation and satisfaction.”
